The Energy Of Success with Charlotte Carter

93. Emotional Leadership: The Secret Weapon Of High Performers

• Charlotte Carter

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Emotional leadership is what high performance is all about.

High performance often rewards pushing through, but that habit quietly drains us. The key is emotional leadership: allowing every emotion to move through your body, then consciously choosing how to direct that energy.

Many high achievers treat difficult emotions as distractions, but suppressed feelings show up as a dysregulated nervous system. Your strategy might look solid, but execution wobbles when your internal state fights your goals.

The practice is simple: notice what you feel without judgement. Give it space to move through your body - breathe, ground yourself, describe the sensation until it shifts. Then decide how this energy will serve you.

With practice, your capacity expands. You meet chaos without scrambling and success without rushing ahead. Do this consistently, and you become someone who can hold more with less effort.

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SPEAKER_00:

This is the piece that actually I see manifests in so many ways for high performers. It manifests them in a dysregulated nervous system, or it manifests in an ability to not be present, or it manifests in an ability of real burnout and control. Now, the real emotional leadership is when you allow all of the emotions to move through you, where you allow yourself to hold it all and feel powerful within it and stay grounded within it. I am on fire today, and today we are talking about the emotional leadership for high performers. This is where things get really juicy. This is a big piece of the work that I unpick with my clients. The emotional resonance that they are vibrating at. Now, typically, high performers like to be seen as holding it all together. They are the ones that are doing the thing, they are pushing through, they are navigating quite often at the detriment of their emotional capacity. So if you're somebody that knows you are a high performer that want to be top of the game, tune in and keep listening to this episode because it's going to bring to your ears some highlights, some gut punches, and some revelations for you. So typically, high performers really think that holding it all together is part of their power, it's part of their leadership. But actually, what I'm going to unpick with you today is that the real emotional leadership is where you can hold it all. And what I mean by this is that you can hold all of the stuff that's going on in your personal life, all of the stuff that's going on behind the scenes in your business, all of the stuff that's going on in your body, and you can hold it and stay grounded. What this allows you to do, and the high performers listening will absolutely love this, is it actually allows you to build your capacity for more and your magnetic presence for more. Now, who doesn't want more of that? But there's a real key and a real skill in this. What happens really is what I see is this hustle mentality, the shadow part of high performance, where achievement it often hides emotional suppression. So what I mean is that people push through, they navigate, they rise for the highest good in their life without processing the emotions, without letting those emotions come to them and through them. That is the key, that is a big part of what I do. Your emotions have to come to you and through them, through you, whatever they are, whether they are the greatest thing or whether they make you feel absolutely rotten, it is important to allow that flow because emotions are energy in motion. And leadership is literally directing that motion consciously, moment by moment. That's what your emotional leadership is. So when we break it down, emotions are energy in motion. Let's allow them to move and then let's lead how they move through us. Now, our high performers love to lead the emotions that are data-driven, that are performance-led, that are achievement-led, they are on fire, they move fast. This movement is absolutely nailed. But when the emotions are heavy, like personal, like shame or guilt or feeling unloved or rejected, then this movement of the emotions is not so easy for the high performers. They want to kick on their overdrive, they want to just bypass it and go past go. This is the piece that actually I see manifests in so many ways for high performers. It manifests them in a dregulated nervous system, or it manifests in an ability to not be present, or it manifests in an ability of real burnout and control. Now, the real emotional leadership is when you allow all of the emotions to move through you, where you allow yourself to hold it all and feel powerful within it, and stay grounded within it. So let's break it down. High performers are typically driven by achievement, anything that allows them to achieve or accomplish, they laugh. Absolutely, it's on overdrive. So anything that pulls them away from that, like um any emotions that are real human emotions like anger or sadness or neglect or rejection, they feel these deeply, but they don't know what to do with them. They can't focus them into the achievement path, they can't feel like they're going to accomplish something. So they just either suppress them or try to move through them, try to say that they've navigated them and just push through. Now, what if I was to spin you the absolute answer to this? Whereas if you can hold the bigger emotions, like holding the regret or holding the feeling of loneliness or holding the shame around something, and you could actually allow yourself to move them through you and process them in a healthy way, in a human way, and that actually allowed you to hold more emotions, which means you can hold more money because money is energy, and emotions are energy, you can hold more clients, they come with lots of emotions, you can hold more impact. But all the things that you're here for, you could actually hold more of them and grow more and impact more and earn more if you were able to actually manage and lead your emotional leadership in a very different way. So here's a question for you. Do you think that your power or your status or your presence disappears or is judged or is not felt so strongly when you allow these very real human emotions to come in? Does it take you away from that achievement status? Because if you could flip the script and you could allow yourself these real emotions to move to you, through you, and calibrate you, as well as all the achievement stuff, you're gonna create more success. And I know, like, I know, like, I know you are here for more success. So let's talk about how you can do it. Emotional leadership is really noticing what you feel without judging yourself. Now, quite often, high performers and high achievers are also have threads of perfectionism, they have threads of not good enough, they have threads of incredible pressure, self-pressure. So, this piece to actually notice what you feel without judgment is a bit of a challenge for some. But when you start to notice what you feel without judgment, you're able to just allow it to move through you. You're able to like be the observer in your life, and it is so powerful, it is so grounded. You're able to not allow negative thoughts to come in. You're able to allow those experiences and emotions within your body to move to you and through you. And one of the real reminders here is that emotions are just waves, they really are waves, they can be so smooth that you can float in them, they can be up and down crashing that you feel that you're gonna crash with them. But when you take yourself out and you notice and you're the observer, you're not in that crash situation that the waves might be. You're just noticing it, you're noticing it move through you, and the intensity feels big because you are a high achiever. So we're here for intense results. So when you actually allow the emotions to move through you, these results are phenomenal. So awareness, notice what you feel without judgment. Then allow yourself to feel it, alchemize it, embody it, feel it within you, feel yourself move from it and notice it. Now, sometimes what happens is people find this easier. Oh my goodness, I feel really frustrated about this, and I know, God, I feel it at my core, and like my sacral is whizzing and my heart is pounding, and I feel all this, but I know, like I know, like I know I can move through this and I can feel grounded within a moment. I can take a deep breath in, I can allow myself to feel the floor beneath my feet, and I can move through this, and I can allow myself to watch it all unfold. So when we're able to move it and refine it and take the edges off it, we allow ourselves to elevate, and with this elevation, we become magnetic, our presence becomes magnetic because we are seen as someone that can hold it all, no matter what it is. Now, I want to take you on a very small insight into how I've been able to navigate this, and how I see people navigating this. Because it's really about understanding how you move as a human, your emotional range and your magnetism range, and the more emotional range you can have, the more magnetic you are. It's not about dismissing the emotions, and it's not about suppressing them, it's about allowing them and knowing that your role within them is part of the expansion. So we want to think about things like I can feel this and still lead. My power doesn't disappear when I'm human. Now, one of the things that is the quickest win for this is to move your body, shake it out, get rid of anything that is causing this energy overload. That's all emotions are energy and overload. We have to acknowledge that. So I remember when I was about to stand on stage years ago. I was about to stand on stage in front of about 1,500 clinical trial experts, doctors, medical doctors, a whole range of clinical staff in the field of oncology. And I was about to stand on the stage, and I remember getting information about things that were happening back in my private life, and they were big things, and I can remember in that moment I got to choose how I was gonna show up, and I got to choose how to hold it all, and in that space, I knew I had this ability to hold emotional expansion and real big stuff alongside this leadership and this state and have them both. So I want you to just tune into yourself. When have you been able to do this and actually feel things move through you? Now, I don't mean I'm just gonna go and do this thing and I'm gonna put on a brave face and I'm just gonna get into a different character and I'm gonna do this, and then afterwards I'm gonna be absolutely shaking in my boots and um, you know, at a completely different place and unable to function for a while. What I mean is this embodied emotional leadership where I get this and I've got capacity to hold this, and I know I can move through this because the universe has my back, life has my back, I have my back. It's a moment in time, and everything is always working out for me. And when you can be like that and embody like that, the world turns to meet you. Timelines collapse, magic happens, and you feel like you're able to navigate so much more. I want to finish this episode with an example for you. So when things go really well, you'll feel the emotions. My high performers and high achievers love this. Wow, I am on fire. This is good. I'm bringing all of the energy. They're getting that space, they're like, yeah, boom, done it. What's next? They're in this space. And actually, it's that what's next bit. What happens when you can master your energy? You're not asking for the what's next. You're like, this is epic. I absolutely adore what I achieved. I am so, so in this present. I am incredibly grateful for this experience, and I love it, and I am so honored to witness it for everyone. Full stop. You're able to be like that, and then you're able to witness the emotions that come with it. It's easy to do when things are going well. The absolute growth, as always, is when things are not going so well behind the scenes, and you can still show up with this energetic magnetism that you are here for. That is true emotional leadership. I'm excited to hear what people think about this episode. If you are listening and you know, like you know, like you know, you are like this person that's in hustle, or this person that is suppressing their emotions, or you're this person that feels like they can hold it together, but they're not holding it all. You know that you are not facing some of the emotional challenges that have come to you, and you know that actually it's affect now affecting who you are and how you show up. It's working in reverse, it's not the way that you want to work it. Then I am here to support you. I'm here to help you, I'm here to allow you, to teach you, to mentor you of how to use these emotional states for your greatest good, for your greatest expansion, for your greatest impact. I'm here for it all. So whether they are highs, whether they are experiences, whether they are challenges, whether they are celebrations, emotional leadership for high performers, you have to be able to hold it all. DM me on Instagram to find out how I can help you hold it all.

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Charlotte Carter

Host